Charlie Parker räckte ut armen och drog ner mig i jazzträsket igen. Ibland tröttnar jag på det tekniskt briljanta i musiken och behöver känna att det finns en levande människa bakom tonerna. Nervigheten i inspelningen av Lover Man minns jag som särskilt oroande. När jag läser om inspelningen faller bitarna på plats.
Wikipedia berättar:
On the next tune, “Lover Man”, producer Ross Russell physically supported Parker in front of the microphone. On the final track Parker recorded that evening, he begins a solo with a solid first eight bars. On his second eight bars, however, Parker begins to struggle, and a desperate Howard McGhee, the trumpeter on this session, shouts, “Blow!” at Parker. McGhee’s bellow is audible on the recording. Charles Mingus considered this version of “Lover Man” to be among Parker’s greatest recordings despite its flaws. Nevertheless, Parker hated the recording and never forgave Ross Russell for releasing the sub-par performance (and re-recorded the tune in 1953 for Verve, this time in stellar form, but perhaps lacking some of the passionate emotion in the earlier, problematic attempt).
During the night following the “Lover Man” session, Parker was drinking in his hotel room. He entered the hotel lobby stark naked on several occasions and asked to use the phone, but was refused on each attempt; the hotel manager eventually locked him in his room. At some point during the night, he set fire to his mattress with a cigarette, then ran through the hotel lobby wearing only his socks. He was arrested and committed to Camarillo State Mental Hospital, where he remained for six months.
Coming out of the hospital, Parker was initially clean and healthy, and proceeded to do some of the best playing and recording of his career. Before leaving California, he recorded “Relaxin’ at Camarillo”, in reference to his hospital stay. He returned to New York – and his addiction – and recorded dozens of sides for the Savoy and Dial labels that remain some of the high points of his recorded output.
Charlie Parker’s New Stars – Relaxin’ At Camarillo
Det är vackert att skriva en låt om sin tid på mentalsjukhuset.
Låt mig citera Michael Corleone från filmen Gudfadern när det gäller mitt förhållande till jazzen:
– Just when I thought I was out… they pulled me back!
Tysta tankar 
Denna typ av mänsklig sårbarhet finns det inte mycket av i dagens musik. Freddie Wadling är kanske den som kommer närmast.
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Ofta upplever jag det här som manipulativt. Kanske har jag sett för många fulla jazzmusiker för att tjusas av den här formen av romantik.
Men ibland fungerar det och den här formen av sårbarhet är jag helt skyddslös inför.
Antagligen är det en form av avancerat självbedrägeri att tro att man kan skilja mellan de som har “feeling” och de andra som inte har. Antagligen har Wadling!
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